some things i know at 21
Hi again!!! I’m back and so excited to share some recent thoughts of mine! Hopefully my little hiatus wasn’t too long, I was having some technical difficulties with my laptop, and also the best summer of my life :)
This year I turned 21. Typically, my birthday isn’t something I look forward to. Lots of attention on just me. The Abigail that (still) doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life. The Abigail that is currently (still) a barista. Insecurity, check. Then there’s the dread that it won’t be what I hope. Because do people even care to celebrate me? Do they know me? And does that make them more or less inclined to celebrate my life thus far? So many questions, prompted by mostly just fear.
But I am overjoyed to report that my birthday was absolutely lovely. More than anything, I felt so thankful. Despite how it may sometimes feel, the stage of life I am in is so purposeful. I am more secure than ever in myself and who I am in Christ and I have so many wonderful people that care about me. All that being said, I thought I would make a collection of 21 thoughts from my 21 years of life that I think little Abigail would’ve appreciated, and that I would want my little sister to know. They vary between silly and serious, but all are sincere. Here we go…
Enjoy the things you like!!!! Pink and bows and ribbons and makeup and Taylor Swift!! Being ‘cool’ is actually very overrated. Unashamedly being yourself is actually what’s cool, as cliche as it is.
Eight hours of sleep at night surprisingly DOES work wonders. Feeling sad or off or angsty without any reasons to why? See how much sleep you got last night, babe.
PLEASE wear your retainer. Please. Seriously. Your parents paid a lot of money for those pretty teeth.
You are, in fact, not too cool to be friends with your mom. She is too cool for you. She’s also one of the funniest people you know, so pay attention.
Pick the things that matter most to you and splurge on that. Skincare, a few really phenomenal pairs of jeans, books. Set some money aside in your wallet specifically to buy your comfort food on a special occasion: after a bad day of work. Yummy food makes a world of difference.
SAY THE NICE THING. Tell the girl in line you like her glasses. Tell your friend their laugh is contagious. You lose absolutely nothing by saying it and it has the potential to make someone smile. It’s a win-win.
At the end of the day, nothing will have as much of an affect on your life as knowing your identity as a child of Christ. Our Lord, the King of the universe. Before you are anything else, you are His beloved. God made you so that He could love you!!
When it comes to friends, it is good and okay to be picky. Do they have a desire to know Jesus? Are they humble and vulnerable and consistent? Are they good listeners? Are they merciful and intentional and quick to forgive? Don’t settle, the people you surround yourself with have a greater impact that you know.
Singing and dancing in your room (or your car) is an almost foolproof way to feel at least 80% better.
If a boy really likes you, you won’t be confused. READ THAT AGAIN!!
Relationships (in general!) are messy. Messy as in chaotic, complex, intricate, tangled and difficult. But also messy as in beautiful, joyful, sweet and redeeming. No matter the relationship, romantic or platonic or familial. Perfect love, perfect relationships and perfect people don’t exist outside of Jesus.
11a. That being said. Love anyways. Vulnerability is one of the biggest freedoms we have one this earth, as clumsy as it can sometimes be, and true love/friendship cannot exist without it. Yes, putting your heart out there is scary. Yes, people will fail you. But we can choose to allow every let down point us back to Jesus, who will never fail us. Our God, who is gentle and understanding and loving to His core can be our foundation through our ever-changing relationships and emotions. A quote from Brian Zahnd, from his novel When Everything’s on Fire, “We are never perfectly safe, but we are always perfectly loved. And it is perfect love that casts out all fear”.
Social media never was and never will be for our betterment. I’m not saying you have to get rid of it all, but pay attention to the time you give those little apps on your phone. Do you feel more or less satisfied and content and loving after closing out Instagram?
When in doubt, make homemade chocolate chip cookies. This has yet to fail me.
Memories and moments are not replaceable. Be present!!!! Life moves fast and time is not promised.
If there’s no one to vent to, turn on your voice memo app and just talk. IT HELPS.
Don’t stay stuck in your head. Call a friend or your mom. Nothing is as overwhelming when you’re not handling it on your own.
Make habits out of the things that keep life a little more orderly and your brain not as jumbled. Wash your face, put your clothes away when they come out of the dryer, make your bed.
Listening to understand is almost (almost) always better than listening to respond.
If you’re an introvert like me, use your alone time to recharge, not to isolate, (I have more thoughts on this one for sometime in the future).
Boys DO exist that will play with your hair and bring you flowers and call you just because they want to hear your voice or hear about your day. Don’t give your heart or your time to anyone that makes you feel anything less than treasured, seen, adored and respected, (coming from the girl that didn’t think it was out there).
It’s okay to have big feelings! It’s okay to cry if you need to. Being a sensitive person is not a weakness. Truly, it is a gift to experience life more vibrantly. You’re not too much. I promise that you are loved and enjoyed right where you are. Especially by the One who designed you that way :)
Okay! That’s all for now.
Until next time <3
